Day 3: Quiet Day

Today, I feel shaken in my core. If you live in the Philadelphia area, you may have heard about the boy who went missing in Pennypack Creek here in Northeast Philadelphia. He was jumping into the high waters from the rain with his brother and it seems like he must have gotten caught by the under current. They aren't reporting yet what happened, but they are still looking for him 24 hours later. This tragedy has affected me deeply. Each day I walk Maggie in different parts of Pennypack Park - it's right outside our door and is one of the main reasons I agreed to live in this area (Sarah is from here). We spend more time in the park than anywhere else and it feels it is as much our home, as our actual home. On our walk this morning, I was struck by a deep sense of grief. A sense of of tragedy for a child's life hanging somewhere in the balance in these woods. I felt out of respect for the family that we needed to leave. We weren't anywhere near the location, but it just felt wrong to be there. It's a strange feeling to have such a personal and joyful connection to a place, and then to have something terrible happen there that changes how you feel in that place.Makes you feel really vulnerable. Like droplets of water balanced on a spider web. Like a slight shift in the balance of things, and everything is changed forever.

Today, Sarah had two close calls herself. She was almost hit by an idiot driver while going around Holme Circle to get her hair cut. I use the word 'idiot' because they put my love's life in danger on a slippery road.  And, prior to that maybe you also heard in the news about the accident on a construction site in North Philly --- Sarah was working just one floor from the last floor the metal beams crashed through. Too close. My phone rang around 11am - not her break time, not her lunch time. I picked up the phone and held my breath. You never want to get a call at a weird time of day. It usually means one of two things -- either Sarah got laid off, or there was an accident. That's one of the things I worry about with our lack of legal marital status. They closed the job after the accident (no one was hurt thank god), and she came home talking about getting life insurance. I can't even process that. I am not even going to go there right now. But it's been one of these sobering days that leaves me feeling quiet. It makes my sore throat and lack of enery today just seem not important. Or the dusting I need to do. Or any of that kind of day to day stuff. I just feel like breathing, slowly, in comfortable silence with my wife. Joyful things did happen today, like we bought a rainbow picnic blanket and new wash clothes that we desperately needed. These little things just feel very sub-context to this other overarching feeling my heart is carrying. So today, I just give you a few rainy day photos from my backyard. I hope that tomorrow a little sunshine can shine in the worried and grieving hearts out there and that more joy returns to my own heart. I feel it in my core, and I am trying to send healing energy out to the world. One person's suffering is all of our suffering. I am going to use my intention tonight to send comfort and love out there. To you, if you need it. If you feel alone. Or worried. Or are hurt or grieving or sad. Feel less alone tonight knowing you are loved.