Ambitions Take Time it Seems

I had great intentions for this blog! But it's just not realistic to post EVERY day. Or week! Or month as it turns out. We have been busy bees in life. We have been working, working, working, working. And digging ourselves out of about 16 snow storms this winter in the Philly area. I used to think I could live in an extreme winter climate. But I am wiser now. I can take that off my list of aspirations. That is actually today's theme that is overwhelming me -- my list of aspirations. Yes, there are small things on there -- like go grocery shopping, clean the office, get a hair cut, put my clothes away, blah blah blah, but what is really getting me today is how to push ahead with a few projects I want to work on. I love being a documentary photographer. And I want to marry that with creating a series of images around the idea of 'home.' I have launched this idea on my website some time ago, but I am anxious for it to take on a real life. To be a real collection of images, to create the gallery connection, to have a show, to create a book with photos and small excerpts of stories around this idea of telling stories from our place of 'home.' Everyone experiences home differently, and it can be a physical place, or it can be just a feeling you get when you are exactly with the right people. I have some images collected for the series, but I am not really able to concentrate on the project and it's bugging me. I work for myself, and most of my time is spent in 'business' mode - from making sales to marketing, staying on top of social media marketing and making new networking connections, designing my website, researching new gear and techniques, etc..... But today, as I sit down to make my new to do list, here in front of the computer I decided to sort and edit some images for my project. Then, I thought to myself -- why not procrastinate with a personal blog post! Ok, it's not really procrastination; it's part of the thinking process. Writing helps me think. And thinking helps me decide on my course of action. There is a great paradox with the kind of work I do. I am a photographer. I work with people in creating tangible frozen memories. But the rest of the time, I work alone. And I spend a huge amount of time in my head. Which is why I recently started to get a routine yoga practice at a studio. Not only does it help me connect with my inner voice, but also to others and to take that yoga off the mat into the rest of my life. It gives me the presence of "now." It helps me as a photographer as well - not only with the flexibility that allows me to follow my eye, to frame shots underneath a tiny stone arch for example, but it reminds me to always stay present and to witness and to be open to the world around me. And, of course, I am way less overwhelmed and anxious. I think I get most anxious because life is short and there is so much that I want to be part of, and to do. Like I need to hurry up and do it. Like this project, Home. I want to see it full of life and resonating with the images I can see in my heart that have yet to take shape...
So I have to take a step back and chill for a second. So here I am. This is my step back and chill. Also, my allergies have kicked in, so that's fun today too. Yesterday I went to New York with a fellow photographer to get ourselves inspired for the upcoming wedding season. One of the presenters emphasized some advice that I give other people but I find hard to do myself -- make your goals achievable. For me today, that means don't expect to complete your project in one day. But set a goal to select 10 possible images today for your project, and to research a possible venue to show your work.  Sometimes, I feel like there are so many things I want to do, that I can't possibly get them done in one lifetime. I guess it's a blessing to have so much desire to live and be and do, but it's also a curse at times. Like how can I carry this in my heart without bursting? Each day has only so many finite hours in it. And if you don't sleep well (like me last night), your productivity the next day is not so good. And your mind is not so clear. And you just want to take a nap and have your dog snuggle in next to you, but she would rather rip the shoelaces out of your sneakers and dangle them over your head while you squeeze your eyes shut. But then I remembered this blog, and thought, hey why not reach out and connect in a different way and maybe this day will start to fall into place in a new way. So, yeah, that's my break today. It's been a really long time since I posted here, and I guess today's post was about getting back into the moment with a clear head. Looks like I need to get to yoga tomorrow too. It's important to carve that time. Today's to do list: make a few calls, cull some images and make the list for tomorrow. Today might just be about setting up tomorrow for success. On that note, I wanted to leave you with a quote from one of my yoga teachers but I can't remember it word for word -- it went something like -- Truth, Presence, and Love -- if what is in our minds is not one of these, it's just in the way. So I am going to walk forward into the rest of my day with truth and love present in my decisions, and know that I am working hard everyday with a heart filled with vision and love and the ideas that are meant to take shape will do so, and the ones that are not as important, maybe aren't meant to be. And here are a few images for ya. It's been a LONG winter. I am ready for the real spring to get here. But here are a few images taken this weekend at our nephew Desmond's Christening lunch. Just a few to share while I get my act together.

Where Does the Time Go

this is me. have we met? i haven't posted to our blog in so long, i thought i might reintroduce myself. my name is kim, and i started this blog to share the real life tales of my life with my wife Sarah. like a "day in life" story -- except i accidentally skipped a few months. it happens right? life, that is. not sure what has happened since we left off. more states have secured the right to marriage equality, which is huge. but our state of Pennsylvania still lags behind the times. not quite sure why. but it does. hopefully that will change soon, especially with a change in governor. i am hoping for allyson schwartz to take office myself. anyways, politics bores people. me included. so, how are ya? great i hope!

this summer and fall have been crazy busy -- lots of photo sessions for me, and family time mixed in there - cutting acres and acres of grass at the homestead, getting a horrendous case of poison oak (purposefully did not photo document that), om-ed and had an awkward dance party with a few friends and hundreds of strangers at wanderlust philly, spent time with friends, took more photos that i can possibly process. when i die, there will be a large unedited archive for my future children to explore, not by design but by default of not having enough time in each day. i have taken to a new practice of deep breathing to combat my anxiety about the fleeting nature of time. i don't know if it's because i recently turned 36, but i just have this feeling like there is not enough time to do everything I want to do, to live an interesting adventure-full, fearless life, to get my to-do list done because it keeps growing...

anyway, today was our 3rd wedding anniversary. we have been so busy, we both had to run out at the end of the day to get each other cards. i even wrote mine out with sarah in the room. no time. but we made time, because you have to. we went out to one of our favorite mexican restaurants, drove down a one way street by accident on the way home, avoided oncoming traffic and found ourselves in the parking lot of the dog training place we have been wanting to check out. we walked in and it was like a therapy session -- i told the lady at the desk all about how i had to walk maggie 7 miles today to get her to settle down. sarah was like "beige, you talk too much. and you have something in your teeth." that's pretty much me. anyway, we signed maggie up for classes -- so here goes nothing! i think she will enjoy it. and i hope that through the agility training and therapy dog training she will have her energy in check. i definitely got the smart, high energy dog i wanted. now i could just teach her how to edit pictures we would be all set.

so much to share... but, i am tired. it's almost midnight and my day starts by 6. so it's time for bed. but i wanted to take the time to restart the blog. to say hello. and to get back in the swing of setting aside a little time for reflection and storytelling. have a good night, and talk to you soon!

next time i write, i am planning to share some cool 'artsy' stuff i have come across. art is so enriching, and so worth the few minutes to check it out at least online... ok, till next time :).

xo,
kim

we ended the night with a little modern family on tv. sarah is the cutest all bundled up right?

Day 7: Butterflies, Bee Stings and Birthdays

This past weekend was all about truly welcoming in that summer vibe -- from swimming in my cousin Kelli's pool to getting our "tan on" for the first time this summer (ok, Sarah not so tan, but a little more rosy), it's actually starting to feel like summer is really here. We are such water elements. All last summer, if we weren't working, we were in the water - usually the ocean. After we sold the duplex on Friendship street and before we bought the new place, we celebrated by buying long boards and trying to learn how to surf. Turns out I am not too good at it, but I am a champ at floating on the calm water and spotting dolphins. I really should have gotten myself a paddleboard so i could do sun salutations out there (my favorite yoga flow for the past few years). Granted, I would have to air drop out past the waves. Short people have A LOT harder time getting past those waves with a surf board. Made me realize how much upper body strength and core strength you really need to surf, and weight. It's not joke. The ocean is a powerful entity. The last time we surfed it was so windy, the current took me to another beach entirely - I got to shore and tried to walk my board back to 1st street -- a nice person saw me and tried to help - when he got up, his chair and beach set flipped up in the air from the wind. He was a bit upset but I was grateful for his help in carrying that beast down the beach. Yes, I think if I could "heli-surf" or get towed out to the deep water just to float and flow that would be ideal. then ride the waves back to shore. Anyways, we haven't surfed in many months, but I am looking forward to carving out a day to get down to the ocean. Our souls have been craving time in the water, that ancient connection to the ocean beckoning us past its breakers. We are very grateful we had the chance to swim this weekend at Kelli and Gary's. These fish are bit more restful.

Another visitor outside our doorstep - this beautiful butterfly flitted about for a while.

This weekend we also had a few random nature encounters outside our front door, literally. We live basically in Pennypack park (still waiting for our friends to show up to camp on our lawn haha), and we see stuff all the time. When we first moved in, a baby morning dove would hang out on our wooden mailbox - like it was a nest. I will never forget coming here to work and paint, etc. and seeing that little bird sitting there with that simple expression on its face, kind of like that book, "are you my mother?". Eventually the mother bird showed up and ushered her baby away, but I think our backyard was the local 'flying school' where the baby birds would learn to fly from fence to tree to rooftop and back again. This weekend, another baby creature surprised on the mailbox -- a tiny baby praying mantis! When we grew up, they were an endangered species - not sure if they still are? But seeing one felt so special, and rare. The kelly green stick like bug jumped from the mailbox to my linen pants and took a walk straight up my back - of course we let him hang out so we could snap a few photos of him ;), and then Sarah scooped him up and put him on the lawn, where he disappeared among the blades of grass. The next day we were greeted with a gorgeous butterfly on the way to our walk. The woods had something else in mind for us though -- darkness was looming. After enjoying a swim, Maggie uncovered what must have been a nest of yellow jackets! We were walking along the trail and she came flying out of the under brush, throwing her body around like a mad dog. As she approached us, I could see the signature yellow and black stripes of a yellow jacket stuck to her head. Of course, I go into panic mode but tried to stay calm at the same time. It wasn't until we got home that her eye and lip swelled up like she had gotten into a brawl. Poor puppy. Sarah was calling her Quasimodo. Thank goodness for awesome neighbors though. While I am on the phone with my mom trying to decide if I could give her benadryl, my neighbor came over with info from her vet that we could indeed give it to her - Sarah researched it online to confirm, and away we went with a home remedy -- it's 1mg per pound of body weight in case you are wondering. So Vicky, our neighbor, volunteered to give her the first pill since she has done it a million times with her two dogs -- right in it went. Not so much the case when Sarah and I tried to give her the second pill later -- she acted like that mad dog again haha -- I tried putting it in her throat while Sarah held her (you have to get it past their tongue, gross), and Maggie swung her head, sending my hand flying into Sarah's face. Then there was some biting and scratching that happened all at the same time, but somehow we got it in there. And yes, we tried using treats. But that didn't work. She spit out the pill. Naturally. She is my dog afterall. Gato is the same exact way. When I had to give Gato medicine in the past I would find it under my bed. She would seem like she took it, then later spit it under the bed. Classic case of a cat being smarter than her human haha. Anyway, she is doing much better - you can't even tell that she was stung. She is back to being her happy puppy self. I am sure she will find another bee interesting in the future, but I feel more prepared for what to do now.

You can see how her eye swelled up poor thing. 

Post bee sting, we headed out to another family party at Carolyn's house in Kimberton. It was about 120 degrees in her backyard, but the kids enjoyed a water balloon fight while the adults enjoyed cold beverages in the AC. Here's a few pics of my own family. Love ya guys! Even you inappropriate conversationalists haha -- you know who you are ;). Somehow you know how to turn everything into a cringing moment of awkwardness and hilariousness that no one can resist even if they wanted to ;). More pics to come later... I gotta get back to work haha ;).

Wet willy prevention tactic. We need to build a little trust haha.

Day 6: Glistening Fiveheads in the Sun

Ah, the sun on my skin, there you are. my hair crunchy and matted in random places from swimming and swirled about into un-tamable shapes and spaztic points from driving with the windows down listening to music (everything from FloRida to Little Mermaid). ah, but the sun.  i have missed you the way a plant misses rain during a dry spell. I have missed the heat radiating off my 'five' head ( in my family our foreheads are actually 'five' heads -- attributed to our ability to fit all five fingers between our eyebrows and hairline, as illustrated in some of these pictures - just saying bigger forehead, bigger brain ;) ) -- today it feels as though summer has officially started for us. After a bit of a rough start to the day - including a near meltdown on both our parts, we pulled ourselves together, I squeezed my plumper than usual body into an old swim suit and we high tailed it for Pottstown. What's in Pottstown you say? Only my amazing awesome family!! Yep, I told you I was obsessed with them. Seriously, is there anything better than hearing familiar voices as your approach the fence line to then be greeted by your cousin you haven't seen in forever -- i love that. then hugs all around. and the little nieces begging you to jump in the pool and swim under water with them. clinging to you like barnacles. i am not saying i am like a whale (though I love whales, not sure i have mentioned that yet -- but my dream is to swim with humpbacks). but i love my niece barnacles. the littlest ones are growing up so fast - both of them swimming under water and getting more courage to go closer to the deep end and challenge themselves. It makes me so nervous though. My instinct is to encourage them, but protect them fiercely. it's hard to explain my love for my nieces and nephew and great nephew and all future little ones in our lives that are currently 'on the way'. They are incredibly special people who I would lay my life on the line for. I mean anyone in my family, of course. My sisters, my amazing parents - I wish I could have known them when they were young. I would love to see how they were at family parties at our age. I am so lucky to have such great parents. I love my friendship with my Mom. I am so incredibly grateful for her humor and her listening ear and her encouragement of my art. She is by far one of my best friends on this planet and I would be lost without her. And my Dad - he's a showman. And a thinker. And I am an apple that doesn't fall far from that tree haha. I apsire to be like my parents in so many ways. Maybe one day Sarah and I will be parents. Only time will tell. For now, we are the aunts who love their little ones with all our hearts. Looking forward to another family party on Sunday! Anways, not too many pictures of pool day, but here are a few from my phone. Thanks again Kelli and Gary!

Day 5: July 4th Staycation

Sometimes you just need a vacation at home, in the AC with family and lots of movies and food. And that's what we did. Not that eventful, other than it's just awesome how relaxing it can be to take the simple route -- to walk in the woods, to watch movies, to lay on the floor, to take naps and just breath. just what you need once in a while. happy 4th holiday everyone!